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Updated: Nov 2, 2021

Valentine’s Day is almost here with us again, and many are thinking already how to celebrate it. The most popular presents are chocolates, cards, and flowers. Other people will choose alternative ways like planning for a romantic evening or going on a trip to make their partners feel loved and appreciated. If not on the same page, Valentine’s Day can be a source of disagreements amongst couples. That's because there are high expectations, and when not met, can become a source of disappointment and arguments.

Why Couples Should Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Celebrations are a way to show what matters to us. Valentine’s gives us a designated day to celebrate our relationships. While the celebration does not need to be exactly on Valentine’s day, I do recommend couples to make sure to celebrate their relationship by doing something out of the norm. As a result, this creates a moment of rekindling and reaffirming your love to your partner, which may have gone out the waist side for some time due to our busy schedules.

Using the Five Languages of Love for Valentine’s

As you are preparing for this occasion, prioritize coming up with ideas that will make your partner feel celebrated. Using the concept of “Love languages” is a very helpful way to achieve this. Love language is a term that Dr. Gary Chapman coined in his book 5 Languages of Love, detailing how different people convey their love and what they like to receive or experience to feel loved. People have different ways of expressing love and similarly, people are non-identical on how they prefer to be loved.

Although a high percentage of people like gifts during Valentine’s Day, others prefer non-material gifts. With the below languages of love, you will be assisted to select the right gift for your partner this year’s valentine.

  1. Quality Time: Individuals who prefer quality time as their love language will feel loved when their partners set time off to spend quality time with them. These people love when you give them undivided attention; by listening to them or doing something exclusively with them. To make your partner feel special, you can dedicate an evening to prepare dinner and enjoy it as you watch a movie he/she loves. You can also surprise her/him with a weekend get-away where your focus will only be on her/him.

  2. Words of Affirmation: People who speak this language like it when you show them affection by your words of compliment. Using expressions such as “You are Beautiful!”, “I love you”, or “Thank you for being a part of my life “. These words can be communicated by texting, writing on a card, one-on-one, or social media. During the day, write a lovely message expressing how you love him/her and cannot wait to meet together in the evening. This message will make your partner feel special, wanted, and it will also anticipate being with you that evening.

  3. Acts of Service: Those people speaking this language feel loved when their partners help them with their chores or doing something extra to make their lives easier. Actions mean a lot to those that prefer this love language. Cooking for them, even if it’s not your strong suit, is a good example. During this Valentine’s Day, try surprising your partner with a candle-lit dinner you have prepared in the house, or finish a chore for them that he/she does not like doing.

  4. Physical Touch: Speakers of this language love it when they receive physical gestures of affection, like hugging, holding hands, kissing, sex, or massages. People of this language feel much connection through touching and physical intimacy. This Valentine’s, arrange for a memorable evening at home, which can include a romantic bath, cuddling, kissing, and/or bringing alive a sexual fantasy.

  5. Receiving Gifts: People speaking the gift love language feel loved when showered with physical gifts. It does not mean that you can grab any gift without much thought about it, though. It has to be significant and meaningful, that is what will make the recipient appreciate it more. The gift language speakers are not materialistic and do not tend to focus on the monetary value of the gift. They are interested in what was in your mind as you purchased or prepared the gift. For instance, you can gift him/her with a framed photo of both of you of a memorable time together.

Valentine’s Day is all about showing your partner how much you love and appreciate them. It is a day to show love differently from what you do every day, and above all, it is a day to give to your partner something that she/he will appreciate. By knowing your partner's Love Language, you will be well-informed on the best gift to get them. Give them something they will love and treasure. Do you want to learn what’s your love language? Take the Love Language quiz HERE!

Not on the same page with your partner about Valentine’s Day? Check out my blog “What to do if Your Partner Doesn’t Like Celebrating Valentine’s Day?

Your therapy friend,


If you would like to check out the health of your relationship, click the link below to get feedback and tips on how to enhance your connection.

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