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Valentine's Day seems to be one of those holidays that people either love or hate. And over the years, Valentine's day has gotten a bad rep. Some say that Valentine's day is a Hallmark holiday, that is meant to simply move the economy, or an excuse for people to buy things. Others go as far as saying that it is a “man's trap” and that we should celebrate our relationships daily instead of celebrating Valentine's day.

While you should celebrate your relationship daily, and some businesses do take advantage of this special day to increase sales, Valentine's day is not a "man's trap" and you do not have to spend money on Valentine's days if you do not want to.

Valentine’s Day can create stress and anxiety for some. For others, it can be a source of conflict in the relationship, due to different levels of value assigned to the holiday between partners. Like most potential relationship issues, the influence it has is completely determined by the both of you. You and your partner can always decide together which holidays you want to celebrate and how you want to celebrate them. If the two have different views on Valentine's day, then the two of you need to negotiate and come to an agreement on the level of importance and how to celebrate it in a way in which the two of you are comfortable.

Valentine’s Day is about celebrating your relationship.

Why should you celebrate Valentine's Day?

Every holiday serves as a reminder to take time out and acknowledge something. Valentine’s Day is a reminder to stop the boring relationship routines and make special accommodations to make the ones we love a priority for a day. Think of Valentine’s Day as an alarm clock. An alarm clock sounds and basically says “Hey Good Morning, it is time to wake up.” Well .. Valentine’s Day is an alarm that says “Hey, Good morning, today we celebrate LOVE”. I know what you might be thinking: “I say I love you to my spouse every day, therefore I celebrate love every day,” but do you really? I mean the point of Valentine’s day is to go the extra mile for love, even if it's just for a few hours. Think about it, you don’t go to fancy dinners EVERYDAY, you’re not romantic EVERYDAY, and that’s okay, that’s why we have Valentine's day, to have one day out of the year to be super intentional with love.

I believe we need to celebrate Valentine's day now more than ever. In these modern times, we have a lot of distractions affecting our relationships. Technology is improving our lives but we have picked habits in which we ignore people who are infront of us due to technology. The act of ignoring a person by choosing technology instead is called phubbing. Phubbing has become a new threat to relationships (If you are not familiar with phubbing read my blog HERE! And find ways to save your relationship from phubbing). Valentine’s day has the potential to strengthen our relationships. This day should be celebrated, Love is one of the most important things in the world, and if you believe in love, and you have felt love, then you must understand the value of intentionally celebrating it.

And if you don’t want to get caught up in the money spending here are some ideas!

How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day without Spending a Dime?

  • Stay in bed with your partner longer than usual

  • Give each other backrubs

  • Recreate your first date

  • Reminisce your love story

  • Cook a delicious home meal and set up a romantic setting at home

  • Have a picnic at the park or in your backyard

  • Give out extra hugs

  • Work together on a scrapbook

  • Intimacy

  • Sexy lingerie

  • Connect body and soul

  • Clean the whole house

  • Finish a chore that your partner hates doing themselves

If you rather just buy a gift and/or go to a fancy dinner, then do it!

Do something special, something different. The whole point is to celebrate love with your partner, give a little more love than usual.

As I mentioned before, the value given to Valentine's day is measured by the two of you, and if only one of you finds value in it, then it is time for negotiation.

If you have been together for years now and buying a simple card is enough for you, then that’s great! If you love to do the whole dinner and a gift thing, that's great, too. Anything or nothing is alright, as long as you are both in agreement. There are no rules and no one should feel obligated to go over the top or spend a ton of money. Valentine's day doesn't have to be made into a huge big deal, but let’s always remember to celebrate our relationships, as celebrations are a huge point of connection in relationships.

Happy Connecting!

To your Relationship Success,

Your therapy friend,


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